Lorraine continues to be a wonderful guest blogger for My TIE. Especially since I am working through re-formulating my own writing in 2015. She continues to express her experiences as she continually finds God in the middle of her life's storms. I am forever thankful for her honesty. But even more, I am appreciative that she allows us at church and you as her readers an insight of how God is transforming her life in these storms. I know there are greater things yet to come for Lorraine.
Pastor Tom Ford
When people think they are at the
darkest point in their lives and that there is no sign of things improving, they
often say “it cannot get worse than this.”
The reality is things can indeed get worse.
For those of you who have been
following my story may remember that I have been trying to leave my current job
for four years now while coping with my mom’s illness and her eventual
passing. God has yet to deliver me out
of the challenging situation at work or at home. He has been using my dual storms to build my
character and to make me a light for others in a dark and broken world.
A matter of fact a couple of weeks
ago, the dual storms that I have been battling with both took a turn for the
worse. I was however reminded that in
dealing with disappointments, we can either focus on our loss, or on God
Himself.
God allows for disappointments
There were times when I expressed my
frustration that God has delivered everyone I ministered to at work out of the
fire, and even for how I have supported my boss on the loss of her sister. My boss has been, and is still the cause of
my anxiety at work. I also spent over six
months doing prayer walks around a children’s hospital after each frustrated
day at work remembering a young child from my church. He was diagnosed with cancer at the age of
five and went through months of treatment and has since been fully healed. I could not help but to ask, what more does
God want me to do? After 125 job
applications and 12 job interviews, God is still keeping me here.
A weekend or so ago, I drove an hour
and a half in bad traffic, picked up desserts from a specialty bakery and
arrived at my dad’s place just to find out he was going out for dinner. I had no advance notice. Dad decided to just leave me there at his place
to have dinner alone with his nanny (who spent all afternoon preparing the
delicious home-cooked meal) to go out with my brother because he called to ask dad
out at the last minute. I felt hurt and was
in tears.
The nanny told me dad has always been
asking about my brother and is always wondering how he is doing because dad
hardly hears from him. Since mom passed
away a year ago, I have given up almost all of my weekends so that I can visit
my dad and have been ministering to him since he told me he wanted to go where
mom is – to be with the Lord in Heaven.
At times there was much hope that I thought may be the Lord did take mom
away for a reason – to bring dad to Him also.
In the past year, I have driven dad to
attend Alpha class which introduces the basics of the Christian faith, and have
arranged for him to attend a new church where he can be better equipped to get
to know the Lord. A support network has
been set up where dad now gets regular rides to and from church and for my
cousin to spend time with him on Sundays so that he can feel and experience the
love of God. I have also spent the past
year sharing Pastor Rick Warren’s daily email devotion with dad hoping that
would inspire him to read about the Lord and the life Christ would want all of
us to live. The incidence on that
weekend confirmed what I have always feared for: that my brother (who has yet
to know Christ) is my dad’s number one priority; and I was just his back-up or the
“spare” when my brother is not available.
I have feared that my dad would use the daily devotion as an excuse to tell
my brother I write to him every day, so that my brother will be in touch with
him more often; and yet the devotional passages would never be read. Well, both my fears became a reality – that dad
does not have Jesus in his heart. He is still living a self-centered life and worries
about everything every day.
Faith in God’s goodness keeps hope alive
Keeping hope alive is the only way we
can get through life’s trials, tribulations, setbacks and disappointments
knowing that God is in control of our lives and the story is not over until the
end of time. Focusing on God’s goodness
is what we can see beyond disappointments and keep going. Hope strengthens us and reminds us that God
will lead us onto the best path. Hope
can lift up our spirits and keep us from giving up at the times of failure and
disappointment.
Although I may be feeling the recent
hurtful setback with my dad, and that I am still stuck at my darkening work
environment waiting for God to accomplish His mission through me; I have not yet
given up hope. What we want may not be
what God wants for us. His plan is
always bigger than ours. God does indeed
answer our prayers and He does so in three different ways:
1.
“Yes”
– because we deserve it;
2.
“No”
– because we deserve better; or
3.
“Not
yet” – because the best is yet to come.
What happened in the last couple of
weeks at work and at home could easily set me back in my faith journey, but instead
it was a good reminder for me to trust the Lord more each day. God uses life’s challenges to build our
character and to test our faith. Only
God can change people and it is up to us to trust Him that in His time, He will
answer our prayers in His way.
God tells us in His Word, “Love the Lord, all his faithful
people! The Lord preserves those who are
true to him, but the proud he pays back in full. Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in
the Lord.” Psalm 31:23-24 (NIV)
We need to thank Lord for every gift
and every blessing that He has graciously given to us and to remember His
goodness when times of testing and disappointment tempts us to give up. If we focus on people, we will always be
disappointed, but if we focus on the Lord, there is always hope. The choice is
ours! Let us be encouraged to let the
Lord know that our hope is in Him.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and
peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of
the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 (NIV)
Lorraine Fung
July 19, 2015
